- When I were a lad...

Firstly, I'm from Yorkshire so I'm allowed bad subject verb agreement. When I were a lad football was much better than it is now. I think we can all agree on that fact. The fact alone that football managers used to dress like this should seal the argument...

70s man in full effect

For those of you who haven't wasted as much of your lives following this bloody game as I have, Malcolm Allison, pictured above on his way to a fancy dress party as a pimp, was a fairly successful manager of newly-crowned 'world's richest club' Manchester City. City have, for my lifetime at least, been total crap. Americans among you may understand if I draw an analogy with the LA Clippers. They have had what can only be described as an anti-midas touch, everything they touch turns to shit. they haven't won a trophy since 1976, although they have recently been acquired by the Dubai royal family and have the benefit of a 200 billion family fortune behind them. There was a time, however, when they were just another poorly run club, stumbling from one disastrous signing and managerial appointment to the next.

The documentary you're about to download hails from the early 80s, when Malcolm Allison was sacked and the club taken over by John Bond. Obviously it's mostly of interest to City fans, but I recommend it to anyone who has forgotten what English football was like before it was taken over by the world's dodgiest gangsters and ne'erdowells.

A greedy Brazilian, yesterday

File size: 123mb

- Monkey Magic: Ian Brown

OK, so why is this bloke known as being some kind of monkey? I've never really understood that.

I loved the Stone Roses. They made a big difference in my life, one of the main reasons I stopped trying to look like Axl Rose being just one good example. The debut album may well have laid the foundations for the future of British music, however, to quote from the BBC documentary you're about to download, 'it was Ian who made the blueprint for a generation of swaggering, cocksure Britpoppers.'

Having said that, the break up of the band in 1996 was really a case of us all being put out of our misery, and, 'should have also marked the end for the frontman but the following public fued with former band mate, John Squire, a spell in Strangeways prison and onstage fights at his own gigs, only seemed to further cement King Monkey's legendary status.'

This documentary Features interviews with Ian Brown as well as the Arctic Monkeys, Noel Gallagher and James Lavelle.

Broadcast on BBC radio in February, 2006.